As Thanksgiving marks the arrival of another holiday season, children and adults alike may both go through an array of emotions. Excitement, resentment and memories both bitter and happy of holidays past – with or without the family – play major roles in how many view the holiday season.

Traditionally, the holidays are a time to be spent with family. With bigger families, though, how can one merely decide who will be visited? It’s tough enough trying to determine who to spend these special days with, but with in-laws or parents that are separated the decision becomes even more involved. It is almost a given that someone in the family is going to feel left out or upset that they weren’t visited.

The holidays are all about giving, but one can only give so much without losing their sanity. Without trying to sound too selfish, I wish to keep my sanity this holiday season.

This Thanksgiving, the wife and I decided to host our own dinner as opposed to going to my aunt’s house. Simple enough, right? Wrong. My parents, who had also traditionally gone to my aunt’s house and have already said they would once again be attending, now have to make a choice between spending the day with their son or their sister. Needless to say, the situation makes me feel a bit awkward and I feel like calling the dinner off so we can all enjoy the day together, at my aunt’s. It’s about giving, right?

With that said, though, I haven’t even discussed the in-laws yet. This usually means that one part of the day is spent with the in-laws, and the other part is with my family. OK, then: brunch with the in-laws and dinner with my own family. Problem solved? Not quite. The sister-in-law lives in Elmhurst and she’d rather have us come over there, but we’re trying to cook and plan for a dinner over here. How far can I go to accommodate everyone else before I begin to drive myself and my family bananas?

These “problems,” however, are trivial. Many of my friends and cousins have grown up with parents that have gone through divorce or separation. Now things really get complicated. So Mom gets Thanksgiving and Dad gets Christmas, but Mom will be out of town that week and wants to switch holidays and Dad’s not having it because his ...